The practice is the experience.

Mindfulness is often mistaken for a path or something that we do to "obtain _______" and I understand that sensation; I have meditated and taken many different approaches to mindfulness to "obtain ________" just like millions of others; see, right on the other side of this mental valley is mindfulness I would hear in my mind voice and I would often say it to others. I would talk about it the most when my personal practices were weak, or I felt that I was just that close to that Zen state of mindfulness, or I was judging for not being who I felt I could be (I think we both know this is the ever-expanding list of self-loathing).

I am getting to the idea that using mindfulness as a release or the relaxing of pain and suffering in life avoids the experience and, by the product of that being less mindful. As much as there is a list of what mindful IS, a list of things mindful IS NOT also exists but often not talked about. Learning what mindful was not changed things a bit, see while we are attempting to discover what mindful is without knowing what it isn't, it is like being on a highway with an infinite amount of lanes to your left; that way, if an emotion gets in the way of mindfulness go one lane over and pass, you never have to think about the other slow-moving emotions in other right-hand lanes you have all the space to the left. You're on your way to mindful land.

Well, I am here to tell you that there are things that mindful is NOT. Being mindful means that we are in the experience of what is happening, and we are in the existing reality. For this to happen, we have to be aware that there are things that mindfulness is not because really this is a one-lane road, and you have to accept all emotional drivers.

Not Conditional: Sometimes, we are willing to be mindful of the good experiences, or we say I am willing to be mindful when I meditate to control the experience. This is an ineffective way to find mindfulness; this is being mindful "IF," which works as long as the conditions work for the situation. Because mindful is a value or a part of all experiences, a common example of conditional mindfulness is when we allow emotions such as anger have an excuse to act. The language is "I lost control because I was angry" this is not mindfulness; this is one of the conditions where you are willing not to be mindful.

Not trying: This brings us to the next thing that mindfulness is not trying, mindfulness is or isn't. If you are not placing conditions on your experiences anymore like suggested above, by that notion, then when you look at being angry, a completely normal human feeling, you either were mindful at the moment and acted as such, or you didn't. When you observe yourself in your experiences, you will know quickly if you were or were not mindful as long as you are willing to be mindful without conditions.

Not a matter of belief: When talking to people, one common statement is that "they don't think they can be mindful," and they insert the barrier. The belief of if you can be or can't be mindful doesn't stop the experience or the reality from happening; the belief that you can't be mindful keeps you from accepting experiences that fall outside the conditions and trying to be mindful. The mind still observers the actions, and if you wanted, you could too.

Not self-deceptive: Self-Deceptive mindfulness is like making a deal with your enemy and then sharing the whole plan with them, this would be a bad strategy in the world, and it won't work for your mindfulness. Making this deal with mindfulness created all the lanes on the highway in the first place; we are making this a one-lane road. Being mindful is the commitment and accept the experience.

Not manipulation: Mindfulness is not a way to win the life game; it doesn't make life great or perfect. As a matter of fact, some of the most mindful people have some evil things happen to them.

If you struggle with anger, then you may think that being mindful would make it so that you never react or rarely react poorly to anger. In that sense, when you achieve this goal, let's say you react positively to anger that day, then you had a good day.

When you are committed to mindfulness, then this scoring system is abandoned. You either were or were not present. If you were not, it isn't good or bad, no score, and no excuse. If you were, then it isn't good or bad, no score and no party.

In this way, we understand that when we are looking to be mindful, we are really working to connect with the reality and the experience of life as it happens; we understand that being mindful is connecting the experience and loving in it, and in adding a clear boundary in what mindfulness is not we also give ourselves the permission to stop and paint the picture of the experience and let it grow infinitely knowing that you are just the observer and the picture is never complete it just gets more exciting and richer as you paint it without judgment.